Chief Complaint of the Night
posted by scalpel at 7:10 AM
Friday, May 09, 2008
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24 Comments:
Thank God you were there to provide emergency medical care.
They must not live with a dog.
Or a husband.
I think that our digital age and access to multiple sources of snesational information makes people overly anxious about their mortality. We've all seen the tv shows where someone's fatal or horrible condition started with a mild symptom which quickly escalated into a horrible death.
It makes people think they could be dying with every little thing. Then they google it. Remember people, if ya google it, you are going to find the worst case scenario, and there is an enormous chance that this does NOT apply to you!
All this information is making us a nation of hypochondriacs.
Yes, but were they life threatening stinky farts?
MJ:-)
I live in a household with two dogs that will eat anything off the street, including blackened banana peels, and a husband who enjoys eating unusual and spicy transcultural delicacies from the sometimes dubious ethnic steam tables in our polyglot neighborhood.
If ANYONE has been exposed to lethal farts, it would be me.
Probably best treated with dilaudid...
If they can smell impending doom in their farts...I'd be worried. Otherwise, they're just full of shit!
"Stinky farts" -> I shit you not.
No pun intended ... right?
It kills me that people will actually go to the ER with a complaint like this. Do you suppose there is REALLY something else going on and they just are not good at verbalizing it?
My sister told me once she was going to make an appointment with her doctor, because her poop smelled really bad. But, when I questioned her about it, she really had been having alot of stomache pains and even some vomitting over recent months. I advised her to make an appointment using those compaints and not that her poop smelled bad.
How do you keep a straight face, when you enter the room, when this is someone's complaint?
Damn you Whitecoat, it's like you freaking read my mind, you always say exactly what I want to say in a comment.
nice chief complain. nice pun.
I had a patient several months ago, I think he was in his 20's. His mother was there during my evaluation and she asked me why his farts smelled so bad. She said it was affecting him socially.
That's funny, where I came from, the great farters got all the chicks.
My heart really goes out to these people. It must be terrible to be afflicted like that. Mine always smell wonderful, like roses.
Did they get to the ED via ambulance, and were they on medicaid?
More importantly, did you give them dilaudid and a script for 60 vicodin, to help them with the trauma?
I certainly hope you fed them, gave them a change of clothes and a cab voucher, too!
(Wait...is my cynicism showing again?)
That's funny, where I came from, the great farters got all the chicks. --HH
Happy, exactly where are you from?
Now Teresa, you know I'm just full of hot air.
For the record, my new kitteh has the worst farts of anyone. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
Scalpel,
Does that happen right after Kittie eats some thin and crispy Pepperoni Lover's? ;-)
Now Teresa, you know I'm just full of hot air. --HH
Snicker. Must be why all the girls from there to Austin are slipping away from home and putting jewelry in hock.
For the record, my new kitteh has the worst farts of anyone. That's my story and I'm sticking to it. --Scalpel
Nice try. (Wish I had thought of the T&C pizza comment--good one, Anonymous.)
Seriously, what did you do for your poor patient, if you can say?
Same advice I give to most people:
"This too shall pass."
And then some basic recommendations.
Scalpel,
You have a kitteh that farts?! ROTFLMAO!!! I know that dogs can have terrifically rancid farts, but in all my years of kitteh ownership, I've never known one to fart... Thanks for the laugh, both from your commentary and the post. Can't quite believe someone would actually come to the ED for that sort of thing, but after some of the things I've seen in medical records, it's a little less surprising than it would have been before I came into that profession.
Forget dilaudid, bring out your stash of corks.
I agree with scalpel my kitten has HORRIBLE gas, i mean "15 truckers in a mexican restaurant" gas it clears the room let me tell ya
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