The Rash Doctor
A very healthy-looking young man presented to the Emergency Department with a rash that had been bothering him for three months. Yes, that's months: as in three complete cycles of the moon.
Not being much of a rash doctor and finding no evidence of impending doom on the rest of his examination, I gave him a couple of possible diagnoses and prescribed some standard ER rash therapy for him until he could get an appointment with a Dermatologist.
"You mean to tell me you don't know what's causing my rash?"
Well, I have some ideas, but the bottom line is that I don't think it's one of those rare and dangerous rashes that you might have read about in the newspaper. It's basically just a nonspecific rash as far as I'm concerned, not likely to cause you any harm. But you should try this cream, schedule an appointment with a Dermatologist, and I'm sure that if the rash is still bothering you by the time you get an appointment then the rash specialist can figure it out.
"But I don't have insurance, and I bet that Dermatologist visit will be expensive."
Compared to an ER visit, not so much.
Not being much of a rash doctor and finding no evidence of impending doom on the rest of his examination, I gave him a couple of possible diagnoses and prescribed some standard ER rash therapy for him until he could get an appointment with a Dermatologist.
"You mean to tell me you don't know what's causing my rash?"
Well, I have some ideas, but the bottom line is that I don't think it's one of those rare and dangerous rashes that you might have read about in the newspaper. It's basically just a nonspecific rash as far as I'm concerned, not likely to cause you any harm. But you should try this cream, schedule an appointment with a Dermatologist, and I'm sure that if the rash is still bothering you by the time you get an appointment then the rash specialist can figure it out.
"But I don't have insurance, and I bet that Dermatologist visit will be expensive."
Compared to an ER visit, not so much.
posted by scalpel at 11:33 PM
11 Comments:
Yeah like my $75 co-pay I have to pay for an ER visit. It does tend to make a person think before going to the ER:)
gSo I'm wondering....After 3 months, what constituted the 'emergency'?
"just couldn't stand it anymore?...."
I'm with Tex.
Do patients have to fill out an admitting form? You could include a question like "Why is this an emergency today?" If nothing else, the answers might be good for a laugh.
Of course, people with real emergencies would think you are an idiot for asking. You probably need 2 forms, one with and one without the question.
You should have prescribed one of those hand-held, three-prong rakes. "Apply as needed."
Heh, but the dermatologist demands money up front. Do you really think he'll pay his ER bill?
"as in three complete cycles of the moon." Very funny! :)
he probably made the rash on himself on purpose, it's called "attention" !!!!!! LOL
"You mean to tell me you don't know what's causing my rash?"
Why would this guy insult the doctor giving him free medical care. If anything he should be humbly pleading that he has no insurance and would you "the great doctor" give him a little better help, maybe even offering to bring in bagels for your next shift if you could figure his problem out.
I should stop reading this blog and especially the comments because it always pisses me off. Can't you bastards ever get past your GOD complexes? For chrissake, yes people do live with a rash for 3 months and it weighs on their mind. They put off scheduling a visit because it takes 3 weeks or maybe 6 and they figure maybe it will get better on its own. And yes, there comes a point where they can't stand it anymore. They know in hindsight they should have made that appointment. But now they still face that wait time. That's why they show up on your exam table at 02:00 after having sat for five hours in your fluorescent-lit torture seats in the company of the morbidly obese security guard and the jaded Desk Nurse and a dozen other sick, tired, and pissed off people. Or did you think it was the ambiance that draws them?
If I were GOD, I'd probably have been able to tell him what was causing his rash.
When you gave him some possible causes I hope syphilis was at the top of the list
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