Most Blatant Drug-Seeker Ever
Our award-winner presented with a chronic condition that admittedly had the potential to be painful. With the right story, he might have scored some decent narcs. Unfortunately, he lacked that certain finesse that his more expert colleagues have polished to a glistened luster.
So after we had ruled out the potentially life-threatening conditions that his presentation mimicked, it was time for the all-important disposition. Since I'm the friendly sort of ER doc that typically makes my patients as comfortable as a kitten curled up on the end of the bed on a quiet sunny morning, I suppose I gave him the wrong impression. After I wheeled him to the bathroom myself, he eagerly pushed his entire stack of chips forward and went all-in. He whispered:
"Say, doc...can you write me for 90 Somas and some Xanax? And what's the name of those little white pills, I forget their street name. Damn. Oh, well...how about some of that cough syrup too. Phenergan with codeine."
Sorry dude. You busted.
Labels: bad ideas, crossing the line, drug-seekers, WTF
posted by scalpel at 11:19 AM
15 Comments:
That was pretty stupid of him. :)
After I wheeled him to the bathroom myself...
There's something I've never seen before. I'll bet you had a line-up of aides and nurses staring at you with their mouths gaping from the shock.
Nah, they know me. I'm just helpful like that. Besides, little kindnesses are small investments that pay huge dividends.
Are you a lovely person, or deeply cynical underneath? Love that cat, so probably the former. :-)
Once a dude brought a prescription to the pharmacy at the county hopital that read:
Mofine, one kilo
His mom must have taught him that honesty is the best policy. ;)
That cat looks like she may be getting ready to attack. Give her whatever she wants.
Hahahahahaha! Seekers are HI-LAR-I-OUS!
Hilarious story, but what a lovely kitty! Totally gorgeous.
"All in" is asking for Soma?! What a loser. Get the fentanyl lollipops or some Duragesic patches at least. Some oxycontin would be a good backup if he wanted to be "conservative." LOL
Soma. Pffft. All muscle relaxants are OTC (via pharmacist, not blatantly on store shelves) here. I've had it, does nothing for me that methocarbamol (Robaxin) doesn't do, so I don't see all the hoopla. Maybe I'm weird that way.
I don't understand the cough syrup either. The codeine:promethazine ratio almost ensures you'll be asleep before you'd be high (or at least very soon afterwards). Can't speak from experience, but who knows WTF motivates these ppl anymore.
Somas by themselves wouldn't have been a problem, except they are widely abused here in combination with hydrocodone. Since Somas aren't regulated by the DEA, they aren't as problematic as the narcotics.
Xanax is widely available on the streets here, known as "bars." We get a lot of spaced-out teenagers who OD on those, especially when they drink alcohol with them.
Phenergan with codeine cough syrup is also commonly abused here, mixed with Sprite. They'll dump a whole bottle of syrup into a 2 liter bottle of Sprite and pass it around. I don't prescribe that specific cough syrup for that reason.
Most ER docs I have run across don't carry triplicate prescriptions, so we don't prescribe "the good stuff" like oxycodone or fentanyl. I used to carry triplicates but I used them all up and haven't bothered to get more.
Promethazine with codeine aka "the lean" is very popular among some folks. Most people ask if we carry the purple kind (Alpharma Brand). We don't. They leave terribly disappointed. From what I'm told, it's called the lean because that's what it makes you do............lean. I've also heard other would dip their joints in it. Let it dry and get a "better high". Strictly anecdotal.
I don't know if this is a joke or what, but I thought I should post it so it may help to thwart the efforts of naive seekers who listen to and believe this guy.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t-puapocmBQ
.. tell me if this is what actually 'works', according to this dude. I'd be interested in knowing. While I'm not employed in a medical field, I was a library cart volunteer (until arthritis got my knees), and I've watched ER a lot .. :-) (Ya, like THAT'S real, everybody's hair hangin' over the patient, lol) ...
Anyway ya, let me know if the guy in the video is pulling our collective leg or what.
sorry, ya I guess the link didn't show very well. This might be better .. How to get the DRUGS you really want.
..
the first time i went to see my pain management doc he came out and said "well is there a certain medication that you would like?"
im not a druggy so i told him that methadone 10 mg/3 daily was all i needed. that was 2 years ago....
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