Med Glossary - Part 1
I've decided to start a running series on what people really mean when they say something. Different phrases mean different things to different people.
For example, "I can't keep anything down."
To me, that means they are vomiting within a few minutes after they try to eat or drink anything. But to some people, it means:
1) After my second bottle of tequila, I started vomiting. I haven't tried food or water.
2) I can drink water, but after I ate burritos and salsa with pico de gallo, spanish rice, and refried beans my stomach hurt, and I vomited. How much did you vomit? "Too much."
3) I vomited a couple of times last night, but not today.
4) When I eat or drink, I have diarrhea, but I haven't vomited at all. It just "goes right through me." Patients often think that if they have diarrhea right after eating or drinking that the same substance they ingested is coming out in the toilet immediately. Not so.
5) I want a work note.
For example, "I can't keep anything down."
To me, that means they are vomiting within a few minutes after they try to eat or drink anything. But to some people, it means:
1) After my second bottle of tequila, I started vomiting. I haven't tried food or water.
2) I can drink water, but after I ate burritos and salsa with pico de gallo, spanish rice, and refried beans my stomach hurt, and I vomited. How much did you vomit? "Too much."
3) I vomited a couple of times last night, but not today.
4) When I eat or drink, I have diarrhea, but I haven't vomited at all. It just "goes right through me." Patients often think that if they have diarrhea right after eating or drinking that the same substance they ingested is coming out in the toilet immediately. Not so.
5) I want a work note.
posted by scalpel at 3:48 PM
10 Comments:
I like the people who fake seizures. I especially like when the doctors know they're faking it. And I like it even more when I hear a patient is "chided" by a nurse to quit misbehaving, and they do. :)
People will try to get away with anything if you let 'em.
The cutest lies are the earnest diabetics who quote me a list of their last two weeks of fasting blood sugars---and when I check their glucometer's memory, I find that the last time it was used was 4 months ago. (So...like did they do a Johnny Carson thing with the "swami" headress, stick their finger to their temple, and then simply "divine" their blood sugar each day?...)
Usually at my ER it is the first one. :)
People always try to play the "I'm diabetic" card to get food. A simple finger stick will prove the truth and if they need something a little IV dextrose will fix it. More often the sugar is already too high, but you have to commend them for trying.
BTW, why do people always think that Mexican food is likely to cause dyspepsia? I can't think of anything milder than beans and rice, and it's usually not heavily spiced. I eat it for breakfast when I can.
Y'all don't have Tex-Mex up yonder, my friend.
I hope that was sarcasm, platypus; if your beans and rice aren't spicy, then they must be the breakfast kind. :)
Shadowing a guy in an urgent care clinic for 10 weeks, I learned that "not really" means "yes."
1) "So does this pain radiate anywhere, like up into your neck, or shoulder, or left arm?"
"Umm, not really."
...and the EKG shows ST elevation.
2) "Do you think there's any chance you might be pregnant?"
"Oh, no... not really."
...and 15 minutes later, the HCG says positive.
It's really very impressive.
Actually I lived five years in Albuquerque and another seven and a half in Dallas. [The New Mexican cuisine is much hotter.]
I'd argue that a plain old bowl of American style chili is harder on the gut because it's packed with grease.
Now Thai food, that's spicy.
Dallas is to Texas as Rodeo Drive is to rodeos.
(waves to GruntDoc) ;-p
ok. you made me laugh out loud. do our patients all read the same instruction manual? obtw doc, got a new trick up my sleeve, send most of my naive seekers home with "di-law-bid", which, if you mumble, sounds like "dilaudid". it is, however, an nsaid spelled d-o-l-o-b-i-d. learned it from one of the orthopods. thanks for the laugh.
Love the 'glossary'
Have relatives who lived in Grants, NM and only recently has Texas Tex Mex gotten as spicy as NM' green chili sauces
And Dallas is the most un Texan city in Texas -including Houston folks
Territorial Mexican beans (what I was told NM food was called by my aunt) are made by taking 1/3 beans, 1/3 lard, 1/3 the hard waxy fat from the the dripping of ground beef when the dripping are refrigerated. Texas beans are made from a similar recipe just the spices and amounts differ -at least in my restaurant experience working experience
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